As we enter into the warmer months of the school year, the blooming flowers and longer days serve as yet another reminder of just how close I am to finishing out my time in high school. Looking back on even the first article in this series that I’ve written, it’s astounding to see how much has changed in just a few short months. I remember how much uncertainty went into my writing and the questions I asked myself about what my senior year would look like. Thankfully, at this point in time, many of those questions have found an answer in one way or another. Things certainly aren’t going the way I’ve anticipated all of these years, but I’ve developed a new understanding of what it means to appreciate the little victories in life.
While I am still undecided as to where I’m going to attend college in the fall, some of those little victories are in the form of registering for virtual open houses, or reserving a spot for a long-awaited in-person campus tour. These tasks might seem easy enough to accomplish, especially because at this stage, they’re rather necessary in getting myself ready to make a decision for the next step. However, there was much more to them than clicking a “Sign Up Now!” button or marking a date on my calendar. This fact is because even though leaving is intus semoto- within reach, it is hard not to be afraid of change.
Throughout the course of the college search process, I’ve always hid my apprehensions for the future behind an “I can’t wait to get out of here” attitude. While that feeling is still true, there is also something to be said for not wanting to leave my comforts behind. Even though I know I can’t bring my whole bookcase into my dorm, it still saddens me knowing that I’ll have to leave some of my favorite characters on the shelf while I’m away. My art supplies will be split up from one another, as will the items in my wardrobe. Not even the water will taste the same wherever I go. But, with these necessary adjustments comes the opportunity to find comfort in a part-time home that will allow me to push myself. Knowing that I’ll be able to settle into a different environment and make new memories is what begins to erase the uneasiness of leaving what I know. And, it might even be worth getting used to the taste of a different tap.
Entering into a new surrounding grants you the chance to start over, but not as a version of yourself unlike who you are now. No matter where you go, you still take your memories and experiences with you. I like to think of people as cumulative tributes to everyone they’ve ever met or encountered. Maybe your favorite song is one your best friend in middle school showed you, or you remember a certain fact about biology because of the outfit your teacher was wearing the day he or she taught it. Whatever the instance may be, each person you meet rubs a little bit of him or herself off on you. Don’t doubt the ability that you have to cause an impact on someone because even if it’s just during the span of a single conversation, you’re adding to their ongoing story.
And, along the way, you’ll find that you might even fill in a few pages of your own.