Here it is! Dusk sets in on the senior class’s year, and now it has dawned on their bright future. It’s all the more difficult to grapple with now that it’s so close. I feel so strange thinking of walking across the stage that I have seen my friends cross; it never seemed like something I would have to ever do. Of course, we all know it’s coming, but still, it feels strange, a little sad (and a little relieving) that many of these people sat around me I may never see again. It’s strange knowing that all that had stressed me in my years of high school and had me feeling so devastating has now washed away. It’s strange to know that all of my work and efforts I have put into this district will seem to go away the instant I receive my diploma. I will miss high school, I think. It’s all I’ve really known for the past four years of my life. Even though the idea of it stinks, I spend sort of my peak youth in a building, stressing, cramming, and crying. But I’ve also met kind friends and teachers and made many memories. It’s a love-hate relationship.

While I should talk about college in this article, it’s hard because not only am I late to the party, but the whole college process has been very stressful and difficult for me. As I am typing this, I have yet to even put down my deposit for my school. Practically every time I’ve had to do something in relation to college—create my Common App, make an appointment, make a decision—I have broken down into tears. I’m not too sure why. It just seems like everything is crashing down on me, and I have to make the right decision, but I’m not sure what it is. I’m excited for college, though, I think. I’ve found a nice school that has a great program for my major and is close to home, but any college that I could have chosen would never have felt like the right one in my eyes, simply because of my hesitancy throughout the whole process. Really, in this article, I feel as though I should focus on the last bit of high school that is left, because I’m a little more sure about it.

Currently, I am leading the senior mural. I love that the school let’s us do this—let’s us leave our unique mark. Honestly, it feels very satisfying knowing that I am leading the project. I’ve had hopes of doing it since I helped my friend Todd when they were doing it for the 2022 mural. I feel like it really does solidify my mark on the school, especially as an artist. (I’ll be going to school for visual arts.) It’s essentially a car with people riding in it, with “stickers” and car doodles that reference different events that have happened over the course of the year. For example, the Eclipse, the Northern Lights, the flag football winning champs, the school trips to Disney and Spain, etc. I think it will be different from the pop-culture-heavy murals of the past and highlight the series of events exclusive to this year. Of course, pop culture has a heavy influence on us, but I don’t think that approach to the murals really reflects Brewster Pride as much as it could. Which I understand because, living in Brewster, it’s hard to miss how boastful we are about it. Either way, I really hope this idea comes to life well, and I hope it’s regarded as a great mural for future classes to see.

I’m really unsure of how to talk about this all. I feel like time is moving without me, really. I frequently think about one of my first days in school. During COVID/hybrid classes, I had social studies with Mrs. O’Sullivan and Mr. Nicastro. One of the first things he said was that high school would go by in a snap, and while during my time in high school it certainly didn’t feel fast, it did certainly go by, and now I’m here. A senior. In June of my last year of school. It’s happy, and it’s sad. It feels so sudden, but it has also felt like forever. So much has happened, and it feels like it’s all about to go away—like I’m going to go into withdrawal from my youth—which is a silly way of putting it, but the most accurate one I can think of.

I’m having a lot of “lasts.” Last meeting, last marches, last projects, and last goodbyes. What does one do at the end of everything? I mean, I know it’s not the end, but it certainly feels like it. It’s really hard not to be sad; it’s hard to smile because it happened when you know it may not happen again. So if it doesn’t happen again, I will say this: thank you to the people who have enlightened me. I will be grateful for all the lessons taught to me. I will be appreciative of all the friends who have made me laugh, whether I still talk to them or not. I will look back fondly on school because of the lovely friends, teammates, teachers, and coaches who have all made this time fulfilling. At the end of it all, I don’t think I’ll be met with the emptiness that I had projected I might. I feel satisfied with myself and proud of myself. I deserve this contentment. I hope my peers can reflect on high school in a similar light.

To my peers who are reading this, I hope that the next chapters of your life are enriching. You can be sad that it is over, because that means you were happy that it happened.