As an annual tradition, each year Bear Facts asks a graduating senior to record his or her experiences In a multi-part column that will continue throughout the year, taking us through the uncertain journey that is senior year. This year, we have the honor of having senior Joy Johnson bring us through her highly unique experiences.

Full disclosure– I am not someone who puts extraordinary emphasis on the events that take place during my time in high school. But, I never knew how excited I was for senior year until all of those fall “So Senior!” occurrences were over before they got the chance to begin. Even the college application process, a process that countless seniors face, has not looked at all like I had anticipated it to.

I have just recently started applying to schools in the past few weeks, some still (thankfully) before their early action deadline. However, all of those applications were sent in without visiting a single campus, some without even completing a virtual tour. Submitting an application to a school based off of their website and Google Images alone is an extremely daunting experience and unfortunately one that I’m sure many of my peers have gone through already. What if, when the time comes, I begin to visit these campuses and find that I don’t like a single one? I’ve always said that education and safety are my biggest priorities when choosing a college, but I don’t think anyone can be expected to reach their full potential in a place they don’t truly see as home. I know that I will eventually find the right fit for me, and end up where I am supposed to, but even just the potential of the horrifying idea previously stated coming true is one that doesn’t often leave my mind.

Now that I’ve sent in a good number of applications and have witnessed my friends do the same, it is finally starting to hit me like both a pillow and a train that I am in the principio ad finem– the beginning of the end. This Latin phrase can also be interpreted as “start to finish,” which is fittingly the amount of time during these past 3 years that I’ve spent thinking about my final year of high school. From the start to the (almost) finish of my time at BHS, I’ve wondered what major finalities I would see before I left Brewster. What music would I conduct at my last Homecoming game as a Drum Major? What would my final Spring Musical be? What would my Senior Prom Dress look like? All of these questions and countless others are all ones that remain unanswered, and it scares me to face the unpleasant reality that they might stay that way.

Regardless of what is held within the coming months, I have to constantly take a step back and remember that I can only take things as they come, one day at a time. As I remind myself, I remind you: check in on your friends, thank your teachers, spend time with your family, and don’t forget to make time for yourself. To anyone who is worried about their future, unsure of the direction that they are heading in, or maybe just feels a little lost in the mix– you are absolutely not alone. Look around you. You’ll find it hard to spot anyone who’s confident of things that they can’t control, which is why it’s important to hold onto the things that you can.