The winter season returns to Brewster, as it does every year. It’s crunch time for every senior here, trying to keep up with grades and finalizing applications; we are in the home stretch in applying for a higher education. There is a mix of emotion of being excited and nervous – did you know your body actually doesn’t know the difference between the two emotions on a physiological level? Both increase cortisol levels and heart rate! It’s really easy to not know what you are feeling, and I know that this phase in our academic lives really brings that out.

To recap, I am Adeline, a senior here at BHS. I’ve been in the district since kindergarten, and the idea of leaving my hometown sounds both amazing and yet incredibly frightening. I’m hoping to go off to college somewhere close, and preferably within the New England area. Even then however, I haven’t been so far away from home and family. On one hand, I cannot wait to have some sense of individuality; becoming more of a responsible adult. I’ve been very reliant on my parents since I was little, and being in a small town (without sidewalks), I can’t even do simple things like walking to a friend’s house – I have to ask for a ride. What makes it worse is that I don’t have my permit; I want one and have intentions of getting it soon, but haven’t gotten around to it. I still feel like a small child at the age of 17, and I really am excited to do things on my own. On the other hand, I’m scared of not having the comfort of my home or parents. My entire world will be altered, centered around, and achieving a degree. After this, I won’t be a child anymore. I will have to start aiming to live on my own, and achieve things without help. I will soon be stripped of everything I have known and am used to. While I know that isn’t exactly the case, the idea of it all is overwhelming.

As I write about all of this, I really do seem like some big worry-wart. A negative Nancy, if you will. I swear that I am keeping more of a positive outlook on this. Since I was a kid, it was predetermined in my head that art was what I wanted to do in my life, and now I can finally achieve it to the extent that I will through college. I’ll be learning to do what I love, and I’ve been supported a lot along the way.

As of writing this, I’ve been accepted into 2 colleges – one is Nazareth University, and I’ve been offered 19k/year on scholarship! It is more of a safety, but I should be visiting soon, and I’ll see how I feel from there. The second is University of Hartford with an Art/Merit scholarship of 30k/year! This school has definitely been moved up to more of a possibility, for it’s a great school, and it offers everything that I am looking for! Especially now that it’s more affordable, I am very inclined to go, but I am still waiting for the rest of my schools. The others I am interested in are SUNY Binghamton, New Paltz, Purchase, MassArt, Suffolk, Fordham, and RISD. There are other colleges reaching out to me however, offering me money and fee waivers, so this list might change, but as of now, those are my schools!

Onto what is currently going at BHS, my overachieving self has concluded that I am in desperate need of a break, both physically and academically. I’ve been grinding away in track and personal fitness for the past few months, and it’s taken its toll on my body. More often than not, I am in pain, and my coaches have been urging me to rest. While I appreciate the sentiment, I almost feel guilty taking time off, to both myself and my team (as seen above). I feel like I am not achieving my potential if I am not working, even if I know it’s beneficial to rest. I’m not sure if this is relatable to other athletes, or if this is just a me thing. Track has been my life for the past few months; while I do focus on school and other clubs, I make it through every day just to be there. Winter isn’t really my season though – for starters, I hate the cold. It’s draining. As well as this, winter doesn’t offer discus or javelin, my two best events. Shot put has been my event, but even though I’m out of my comfort zone, being at the track with my friends and coaches, improving my ability, and getting ready for meets has really been my focus as of recent. I really appreciate everyone there, making my last year as an athlete worthwhile.

Since my last column, I feel as though I am a lot happier, or content this season. I’m getting done what I have to get done, even if it takes a while, or even if I’m struggling. The end goal is what I’m striving for, and I feel like I am accomplishing a lot. I think I am proud of myself. I don’t feel that too often. Not that I hate myself or anything, or I put myself down, but I’m not one to brag or really feel like I do good. I try to be modest, but in doing so, I don’t give myself the credit I deserve. But I am proud of myself. I really didn’t plan this far ahead, and it’s relieving to know that, yes, I am going to have a future that I want. I wish that for all of my fellow seniors. I hope you all feel proud of yourselves, and that this chapter of your lives doesn’t have to be a nervous one; if you change your perspective, it will be gratifying to know that this is very exciting.