As an annual tradition, each year Bear Facts asks a graduating senior to record his or her experiences In a multi-part column that will continue throughout the year, taking us through the uncertain journey that is senior year. This year, we have the honor of having senior Christiana Restucci bring us through her distinctly unique experiences.

If you told me two years ago that I’d be locked away in isolation for the second half of my sophomore year, only to spend a huge portion of my junior year Zooming into classes, I think I’d laugh at the absurdity of that idea. If you’d said that I’d be wearing a mask at school, work, sports, pretty much everywhere, I would have been both confused and dismissive of the idea.
Yet here I am, a senior, class of 2022, having been through all that and more. Despite it being almost two years since schools closed due to the pandemic, we all are still feeling the effects of COVID every day. Nobody could have anticipated how dark things were going to get, how uprooted our lives would turn out to be. And while I love the person I’ve become over the course of these last two years, that doesn’t change how awful these conditions have been. This was definitely not the way things were supposed to go. When we look back on our time in high school, of course, we’ll remember the friends we made, the classes we took, the goals we achieved, the passions we discovered. But, unfortunately, we will also remember how much was taken from us.
However, there is always light in the darkness. One of the highlights of my senior year thus far was hearing back from my top school, Quinnipiac University, that I’d been accepted into their psychology program (and with a generous package, too!). And yes, receiving that news lifted a tremendous weight from my shoulders. I finally had a clear vision of what my future plans looked like– and yet my negative feelings about the future had still not been resolved.
I have moments where I feel nothing but excitement about the future– more freedom, taking classes I’m passionate about, bonding with roommates. A part of me couldn’t be more eager to take a step into my future. But those moments in the sun are always clouded by my longing to hold life together, the way it is right this very moment. I wish I could capture these last few months and trap them in a jar to hold onto forever.
For those who have not decided or figured out what their future is going to hold, my heart goes out to you. I promise there is no reason to worry right now because there’s still plenty of time before we really need to know what the years to come will look like. It is senseless to stress about the things we cannot control. We all do it, but the bottom line is this: you can go above and beyond to achieve your goals, but once you’ve put in the hard work, there’s no sense in worrying about a decision that is out of your hands.
I’d love to say that once you have an idea of where you are going, things will get easier. And maybe they will for you; maybe they already have. But speaking from my experiences, it doesn’t always get better. Honestly, having a plan has just solidified my fears and pushed them that much closer to my reality.
I don’t know what will bring me peace of mind regarding the future. I thought it would be getting accepted to Quinnipiac University. I even thought maybe turning eighteen would help. But I’ve been accepted, and I’ve turned eighteen, and I still feel uneasy. And that’s perfectly okay. The truth is, I probably won’t feel calm until I’m already at college in the fall. So, until then, I will hold out for the future, and make the best of the present.