What present should I get for that one person? This is a common problem, whether that is for a Secret Santa, or even someone special during any holiday associated with giving presents. Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Christmas, Hanukkah, those types of holidays where promotions for companies are at their peak. Why do we give during these holidays? While they were meant to symbolize selfless action and really thinking of others, holidays and special occasions have evolved into something that others dread.

I am not arguing that all holidays are stupid and solely created for consumerism. I am merely making the argument that we must honor the actual meaning of holidays, and when giving gifts to someone becomes a hassle, you lose the sense of purpose for being selfless. I am a huge advocate for thoughtful gifts. However, you must understand the significance of giving said gift and how it applies to the person you are giving it to. I’ll give an example. Let’s say that you have a friend who loves to write. This friend is always writing poetry, letters, and writes messages that affirm appreciation for the people they love most. Take time to think how this friend would perhaps appreciate having a letter written for them, and even if you aren’t the best writer, learning how to write something for them would be quite special. Now, the friend will appreciate the gift more as it stands out from anything else they have received. Apply this knowledge, think about the gift you are giving and how it would be significant for that person; something personalized, custom, something they can use, something symbolic. Gifts are meant to “speak” to the receiver. Do NOT get something just because it’s popular.

So now that we have uncovered the meaning of a thoughtful gift, let’s talk about this pressure we face now to give EVERYONE a gift during the holiday season. Gift giving evolved from a symbol of appreciation and love to, nowadays, somewhat a display of power and or success. This becomes more apparent with the idea of “spoiling someone,” and even if you are firm in your belief of special gifts, some people may take offense when you don’t give them a gift. Yes, their offense would be justified if they gave you a gift during the holiday, but if they are outright materialistic about such things, then it is fine to offer an experience as an alternative.

Now comes the same question: what can I get that person that I NEED to get a gift for? To this, I say to take note of what the person seems to like, such as noticing if they are always wearing the same brand and getting a product or gift card for it. If you overhear excitement about a brand new game or the most recent lip gloss they got for themselves, something simple like that might be a good gift. If they like music, you can make a playlist. If you can bake, find out what they like and make it for them.

In the end, it’s about displaying some form of thoughtfulness as that was the purpose of the special occasion.